Review of Kara DioGuardi’s new memoir, out now! - "A Helluva High Note: Surviving Life, Love and American Idol"

When I heard Kara Dioguardi was releasing a book, I was genuinely excited at the prospect of reading it.  When she sent out pre-releases of the book to the media, there was immediately a deluge of press interest surrounding her revelations about her childhood molestations and her sexual harassment by industry insiders.  And yeah, yeah of course American Idol is huge achievement for sure but out of all of the book’s likely content this wasn't what I was most intrigued about reading.  Kara DioGuardi has long been on my radar, way before American Idol catapulted her quite literally into the public eye.  I've always immersed myself in music and song, my soul seeks it to survive.  I lose myself in moments and escape reality as it consumes me.  There's the other side of me that dreams of being a writer and a singer, neither of which I am likely to become but I haven't switched the lights out completely.  If it only ever serves to heal me as a passion then that's what its purpose shall be.  I'm one of these people who still likes to buy hard copies of CDs with the inlays containing pictures, lyrics and songwriting credits.  I came to discover that so many of songs I loved over the years were written or co-written by Kara DioGuardi.  When I learned of her other achievements in the music industry I was instantly impressed and had so much admiration and respect for her.  I'm only at the beginning of my quest in the industry and who knows if I will have the courage, strength, belief or commitment to progress but knowing that it's possible is extremely enlightening and encouraging.

Now I have to admit, I've never bought an audiobook in my life till now but as Amazon were not going to deliver my hard copy till after the double bank holiday here in the UK and the stores over here are not stocking the book till May 15th, I took a plunge and bought the audiobook.  I fought with technology to get it to install on my laptop but in the end I came out of the experience victorious.  Once synched and on my iPod, I grabbed a cup of tea, how very British of me, and sat on my bed with fluffed up pillows to start on the book.  At this point I have to say it was 9.30pm and there was 6 hours, 6 minutes and 28 seconds of book ahead of me.  It was never my intention to stay up overnight and read, well listen to, the entire 13 chapters in one shot but it compelled me to.  Listening to Kara talk about her life so candidly was captivating and the topics she spoke of in detail were like blood to my veins.  The thing is when you can relate and connect with something or somebody whether it be through song or through experience, it's hard to pull away.  I felt like a junkie seeking a fix.  So many things she talks about ring true with me, some directly relatable to my own personal and family life and others serving as a wealth of knowledge, a life lesson, an insight into a world I'm only just touching upon, the music industry.  Like a kid at school in a lesson being taught by a teacher I had huge respect for, who was passionate about their subject, I absorbed Kara's words like a sponge.  How could I switch off the audiobook, it sparked such a positive energy in me.  It'd be rude to cut her off mid way through, especially as she narrates it herself.  Yes Kara took time to read her own book for her audience and it only serves to enhance emotion and capture the true sense of her words.  It also brings out her true sense of humour.  Some of her phrases and references left me laughing out loud and talking, yes talking back to an audiobook.  She's passionate about her life and her craft and this comes across to perfection in her reading.

Kara's hope for her book is that "quote / unquote" 

"May you find your passion in life and make it your purpose.  May you find the resolve to face your deepest fears and overcome them. And lastly may you have the courage to follow your dreams so that you will never know regret. On a lighter note when listening to this memoir I hope you laugh at times and are able to find humour in your own dark moments too."   

Kara taps into the pieces of her life through her art, songwriting, and brings this memoir to life in a collection of songs that drew influence from her own life experience.  Through these experiences the reader grows to know Kara through her incredible lows, her desperation, her suffering, her rejection, her failures but above all her perpetual drive, her inner passion, her tremendous strength and at times her exceptional bravery, her self belief and ultimately her natural intelligence and human approach.  All of these qualities have influenced the person she is today and reflect her achievements in life.  It wasn't easy reaching that "Helluva High Note!". This girl deserves all the success she has earned because she has earned every single ounce of it herself and she shall continue to do so as this is book does not mark the end in Kara DioGuardi's lifetime goal.

So what about the book and its content?  Kara is brutally honest in this book, dotting every "i" and crossing every "t" that is relevant to her life.  She delves into her family background.  She loves her parents of course but notes they were not perfect and in some ways provoked some of her personal issues in life, stifled the creative person she was and forced beliefs and expectations on her that frustrated her made her rebel.  Looping back she credits them for aspects of her life that carved her way to success.  There were times in reading some of this story that I related to my own upbringing, it made me view the way I'd been thinking differently.  My parents were quite conservative back when I was growing up and until now I considered them a factor in my stifled creativity.  Upon delving into Kara's book I realised that they didn't hold me back, they just didn't encourage that creative flare in me, more an educational one.  I was the one holding me back, my own insecurities plaguing me.  It’s starkly clear on reading about Kara's eating disorder that the struggles I went through in adolescence both with my body and my confidence were in fact stemmed in my own inability to break out from the conditional and express myself creatively.  Looking back I was happiest when I lost all inhibitions, singing with my hairbrush in front of the bedroom mirror.  I wrote melodies and songs back then as I isolated myself in my room.  They were probably rubbish and I've thrown them away since but one thing is for certain, Kara is right, "songwriting is the best therapy never paid for."  Kara's book will offer the reader a chance to self examine and more than likely discover something about themselves they've either denied or blocked from memory.  She has an inbuilt skill to connect with people and their feelings and this is more than probably one of the reasons she is so successful as a writer/co-collaborator.  She can channel people in a positive way and delivers!

If you think this memoir is going to be all about songwriting then you couldn't be more wrong.  Of course Kara's life is centred around being a songwriter but by no means does she make this book "how to make it as a songwriter."  She provides and insightful, and at times shocking reality to the music industry.  She paints it in its many colours both light and dark but all strikingly true.  If you're planning a career in the music industry, as a songwriter, producer or other, you will learn a lot from Kara's experiences as an aspiring recording artist which unintentionally leads her to her ultimate career in songwriting.  Whilst some of the stories she shares, stories of date rape and sexual harassment are frankly degrading and harbour a violent disgust in me for certain individuals, they are part of her life and have made her who she is today.  The girl is one of bravest I know and has more strength than I imagine I could ever possess.  I cried out for her whilst reading these stories but I understood by the end of her words that she didn't react, she didn't sue because she was afraid it would damage her career path.  Her career was her stability, her craft kept her alive and she wasn't going to let sleazeball men destroy the part of her life she lived for!  Kara was and still is a fighter!

She shares stories of her early career and the people who helped set her up in the industry.  In the early days there was Larry Flick who had a belief in her that went beyond her own.  He hooked her up with Paula Abdul and out of that connection came her first number one hit in the UK, "Spinning Around" cut by Kylie Minogue.  Producers naturally played a big part in her career, Steve Morales, Tommy Mottola to name a couple.  There are many life experiences she shares about this period in her growth as a songwriter. Other stories about working with artists in the studio are revealing, educational and hilarious.  Enrique Iglesias played a huge role in her early writing career and she has some pretty funny anecdotes to share about her time working with him. "Escape" her first US number One hit was born from this partnership.

Her own personal relationships were core to her songwriting career too and many a hit song came out of a bad relationship experience, like "Walk Away" and "I Do Not Hook Up" both songs cut by Kelly Clarkson.  Now that’s cashing it in, way to go girl! There are so many events in her life that are defined in song.  "Pieces Of Me" sets her up to tell the story about letting pieces of her life not only transcend into songs but also connects with her struggle to let her songs, pieces of her life go.  Until a point Kara only ever wanted to be a recording artist and couldn't quite grasp back then why her songs weren't good enough for her to sing yet they were deemed to be potential hits for other artists in the market.  Now of course she is more than happy to let her "babies" fly.  "Sober" co-written and cut by Pink addresses her dysfunctional behaviour and relates strongly with a time in her life when she was haunted with an eating disorder.  "Ain't No Other Man" cut by Christina Aguilera steers her to talk about happier times in her life, about her now husband, Mike McCuddy, how their relationship came about and ultimately she then talks about her marriage to him and how she sang this song on their wedding day.

Of course she dedicates a whole chapter of the book to American Idol.  It was one of the hardest personal challenges of her life, other than the death of her mother.  If she hadn't been on the frontline throughout her mother's struggle in the fight against ovarian cancer then she admits Idol may have killed her but nothing could even come close to touching her after her mother's death.  She gives a detailed insight into the show behind the scenes, how it wasn't all glitter and shine.  That first year of Idol, Season 8 was a constant fight to fit in, to go against all she believed, to want in a way to be loved not just by the public but the panel too.  She reveals that she felt like she was part of a game plan, that something didn't fit and tells of her daily struggles with the show on many levels. She speaks frankly about that "bikini" moment and the workings of the show.  Season 8 when she was branded the “4th judge” was pretty harrowing on her in the press coverage and it must have been so hard for her to handle.  It doesn't matter who you are, it still hurts.  Kara is always honest and open and rather than being embarrassed she picked herself up, like she did back in her early days of rejection as an artist and came back packing a punch in Season 9.  She began to find her groove and went on to get a lot of positive energy from the show that season.  She credits American Idol with being her toughest challenge to date.  And those thinking Kara was sacked from American Idol ahead of Season 10 couldn't be more wrong.  You'll have to read the book for the truth but it'll surprise you!

Through songs and stories, all of which coming from a place of truth this book allows you a rare glimpse into the world of Kara DioGuardi, singer, songwriter, producer, publisher, A&R Executive, writer and most importantly human being!  The book evoked a huge range of emotions in me.  I laughed, I cried, I got angry, I felt her sorrow.  I also felt her strength, her drive, her ambition, her hope, her celebration.  From all of this knowledge, I derived an ever growing respect, admiration and inspiration for her.  Kara has opened my eyes and awoken my spirit on many levels! Through reading her memoir not only have I discovered so much about her, I feel I've learned so much about myself too and boy do I still have so much to learn, to work for and discover both on a career and personal level! One thing is for sure my respect for Kara, that was already huge, has pardon the pun, hit one "Helluva High Note!"

In the words of Kara DioGuardi – “Life Is A Song, Sing It!”  

She sure has and I hope she continues on her journey as a songwriter in the future!

Buy your copy of "A Helluva High Note: Surviving Life, Love and American Idol here:

http://www.amazon.com/Helluva-High-Note-Surviving-American/dp/0062059890/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1291063639&sr=1-3

And for an Audiobook copy which I can highly recommend:

http://www.audible.com/pd/ref=sr_1_1?asin=B004WFXCAE&qid=1303935564&sr=1-1

Having reviewed the book I’d now like to share with you a piece of Kara through my own eyes. 

It exposes her for the humble, kind and beautiful soul she is.

I was in New York last year and had the opportunity to go to one of Kara’s shows in Atlantic City.  There I witnessed Kara DioGuardi the artist.  She could have been a recording artist, that I don't doubt for one minute but I'm pleased she found happiness in songwriting and judging by the book, in life. "Happiness in all kinds of weather, for worse or for better" she'll have it anyway!  

One of the most unplanned and random experiences of my life occurred on April 9th 2010.  After her show “An Evening Of Songs And Stories” at the Borgata Hotel in Atlantic City, Kara opened up a Q&A session.  The girls I'd met at the concert who were sitting next to me took the mic and asked her if she would consider doing a meet and greet to which she responded, "maybe I could do something at the front of the stage after this." 

Then the mic landed itself in my hands.  I was a little dumbfounded and didn't have a question planned so shakily blurted out like a pleb, "Hey Kara, I'm from England." 

The guy behind me whispered, "I bet she's Simon Cowell’s sister or something!" 

Yes of course all us Brits are related to Simon you know!  Kara seemed to be in a state of shock, though quite frankly I felt like I should have been. "Wow you've come all the way from England, we're definitely having a meet and greet now." 

I had the jitters by now and started to ramble, "well I could come sit on the sofa on stage and you could sign something maybe?" 

What was I thinking, my inner voice was saying shut up Lou, you sound like a babbling idiot! 

"No," Kara said, "you, me, my room after the show.  We'll have a sleepover!" 

Erm OK I thought, "will Mitch Allan be there cos he's kinda hot."  At least I internalised that thought but what actually came out of my mouth was even worse. "Oh by the way Kara, what you just did tonight, That Is Artistry!" Oh God did I just say that! She laughed, I sat back down and hid!  So the Q&A ended and some people stayed back at the front of the stage to take part in the meet and greet.  About ten minutes passed and the venue manager came out and was the bearer of bad news for the thirty odd people who were waiting.

"I'm sorry but Kara didn't realise the licensing rules so I'm afraid we can't keep you in here so there can't be a meet and greet."

There were sighs of disappointment.  I had never expected to be in this position in the first place and to be quite honest how could I face her after my last embarrassing comment?

"Ah well,” I said to the girls I had met.

Then came, "but where's the girl from England?"

"I'm here." I replied.

"She still wants to see you." He smiled.

"Really?" I replied, taken aback. "Wow, I don't know what to say!"

I felt guilty that the girls I'd been talking to all evening didn't get asked so I jumped in and said "do you mind if these girls come with me?"

"Sure but just you four." He replied.

Cutting glares came from the rest of the people who were starting to leave.  Not my fault I thought, don't feel bad.

We entered Kara's dressing room like mice and sat waiting for her to come through. Stephen Finfer introduced himself and then Kara arrived, bouncy and beaming.

"Hi guys! Who wants a drink?" She said reeling off our options. Everyone else had diet coke but I accepted red wine, after being asked if I was old enough.  Thanks Stephen! She stood near me, a long glass in hand as she didn't have any wine glasses clean.

"That's fine I said,"smiling graciously. 

As she poured I said, "just don't fill it to the top hey or I'll be dancing on tables!"

"You do that too!" She giggled.

This was so surreal but she was so humble and real, she soon calmed any nerves there were in the room. So I'd left a space between me and one of the other girls for her to sit down if she so chose to but no, Kara had other ideas.  She slid down the chair arm onto my knee, squished herself down, throwing her arm around me and launching herself into conversation about...well me being from England of course.  She chatted with everyone, I don't remember every detail but we talked about songs, about American Idol, Simon Cowell, her singing, concerts, hair, makeup, boots, shoes, all sorts.  Everyone that came in the room she introduced to us, her friends she'd met on holiday, Mitch and her husband Mike.  The words, "this is Lou from England" were batted around frequently.   I was beginning to feel like I was the famous one.  Her husband Mike was sweet, very calm and unassuming and I remember he spoke about his bee keeping that he’d just started.  Some journalists came in to do some quick interviews.  I got up to make space or leave her in private but was ushered back to the sofa.  "No you sit down, you're my guests." Kara said as she sat cross legged on the floor to conduct her interviews.  This was crazy!  But that's Kara, humble to the core.  She kept looking to us to chip in an opinion as she answered the questions, mainly American Idol based or along the lines of why didn't she become a singer to which there was a chorus of "here here," from all present. Before I knew it we'd been in there well over an hour.  I think she enjoyed having company in the interviews.  She made me feel so special that night.  It was a totally random and unexpected encounter but sometimes those are the most memorable! 

Back in England, the week after, I was watching American Idol, smiling with admiration at her as she sat at the judges table and shouting at my brother Simon.  Who knew I was related! Haha.  Kara DioGuardi had shown me genuine warmth and affection when I met her and I just hoped that the American public would stop being so critical of her on the show. She deserved their respect. As I watched the show, I opened my email and there was a message from Kara, thanking me for coming to her concert. Yes she'd taken email addresses that night when I met her but I didn't in a zillion years think she'd ever get in contact. She did because that's the kind of girl she is, true to her word.

I filmed a song that night in Atlantic City.  If anyone is in any doubt about whether Kara can sing then here's all the proof you need.  
Here Kara sings "Terrified" with Mitch Allan on guitar.  This song was cut by Katherine McPhee but in my opinion, the true feeling in the song is best conveyed by the person who wrote it.  In this case Kara DioGuardi with Jason Reeves.

Enjoy!

For more information about Kara check out her official website www.karadioguardi.com

Follow Kara on Twitter www.twitter.com/kara_dioguardi